The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We need to get me chipped asap
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
