i drank out of a bidet.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Can you bring me the toilet please
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
