I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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