Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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