marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
