Your mouth is God's brothel.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize