Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
