If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
