You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
