You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
