How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
