Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
