I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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