Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
