everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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