none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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