Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sext me about skeletons
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
