I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The power of my boobs compel you
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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