I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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