you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
