Michael Bay diarrhea
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
