Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
