I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
