I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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