oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
