I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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