Well apparently he's into motor boating.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Randomize
