I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
