it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
