The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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