I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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