one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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