ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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