Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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