he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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