we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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