We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
where am i from again
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
