I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
