you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
