he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
