There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Randomize
