How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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