I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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