i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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