Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
there's paper in my vomit.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
