Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
