This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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