Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
