ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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