i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I deserve this hangover.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
