She said her name was "party"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
