i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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