Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
