His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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