I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So many bounce houses so little time
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
