nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
this boner is exhausting
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
