dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
