The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
