So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
