yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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