and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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