just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
