sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
