i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Panties = found
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
