This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just found puke in my bra..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
