Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
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