That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize