summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
