Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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